Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Teej]

Hey @Faith-and-Hope , just checking in after time away from the forum again 🤦‍♀️:face_with_rolling_eyes:

how are you? 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hey @Teej 👋💕

I saw you around the forums last night, but dozed off before you posted here.  Good to see you.

I am doing okay-ish.  Waiting on part-way orders to be signed signed off on, but the jerk is being a jerk and making life difficult for everyone involved ..... of course ..... ticking more NPD boxes as he goes.  

The good thing about that is that he is revealing more of that nature more openly, so more people are going 😳🤭😳😦😳😢😳😔😳🤨😳😣😖😠.  That helps me to feel not so alone in this, but it's as a result of what he is doing, rather than me having to try to expose it.

Hoping it's showing up to the right people who have decisions to make over us .....

[Teej]

How are things now @Faith-and-Hope? I'm back after a chaotic lead up to my surgery and then surgery but may actually have lots of time to offer more support here. 🤪. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I was conscious of your surgery coming up @Teej and hope it all went well for you ..... so good to see you ❣️

ws2bxh has just thrown another major spammer in the works as a part of his mud-slinging campaign, but I anticipate this will be the undoing of his case because it's ridiculous beyond belief ..... but will cause time $ and effort to be spent on it ..... :face_with_rolling_eyes:.  I have just received feedback from my legal team that is very comforting in that regard, so I am feeling far more settled about it all ..... but still settling in for the long haul, because that is what his manipulations are achieving.

[Teej]

So glad you've been able to throw it to your legal team @Faith-and-Hope . We new this was always going to happen but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with when it comes up. It completely turns everything upside down for a bit until you can hand ball it to the lawyer. I remember being so daunted by the cost of throwing this back to the lawyer and feeling frustrated because of that......but do you know what?....In hindsight I'm glad I could and that it took the pressure off me, yes my legal bill was too high but I think ultimately worth it to not be manipulated and to stand true to my beliefs in getting what I deserved. I hope that this is what happens for you too. I never tried to manipulate or push for more than what was very fair and I expect you won't either so then it's just up to the ex :pile_of_poo: to learn the true financial value of your contributions to the marriage. There will never be an moral or ethical admission of this but at some point there will be the financial contribution to which you deserve much. Most of what you have done doesn't have an accountable  $ amount to it but at least in the court they will put a realistic number on that and take into consideration all the hours of unpaid contributions you put into your ex and kids. 

Thinking of you and hoping this helps. 

surgery went well 💜🤗

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Teej  ..... your feedback means a lot, no less because you have been through this before me ❣️

I am so grateful to have my legal team.  I know it is costing a bomb, but there are some things, as you say, that a monetary value can't be put on, and I know their involvement is preserving my mental health.

[Shaz51]

surgery went well ----- tender hugs my @Teej , recovery time now xx

Hugs @Faith-and-Hope  thinking of you lots as you are going through this xx

[Faith-and-Hope]

I haven't posted an update for a while .....

s2bx is alienating people in his new situation.  His rages appear to be showing up to others and I am aware of contractors associated with our communal living place here who will no longer do business with him.  

A former employee of ours who is helping me out with my changed living arrangements in the west got raged at last week too, so the  mask is slipping by degrees. (I got evicted over there from the place s2bx had dumped us in before he left .... and of course I didn't know that was going to happen so I went willingly enough).  Ticks  more NPD boxes.

He and other family members are interfering with my ability to relocate my possessions ..... which makes no sense other than being vindictive ..... ticks more NPD boxes ......

D3 has gone west for a while.  I will miss her, by the move takes her away from the acrimony here from s2bx, which is good, and puts her in the company of my baby dragons over there, which is also good for her.

s2bx is trying to formally back-date our separation by ..... wait for it ..... over four years ...... 

This will be interesting.  We had continued to live as a married couple throughout that time ...... ticks more NPD boxes .....

Starting to think I should re-name this thread.

[Zoe7]

Hey @Faith-and-Hope I know I don't often comment over here but do read along and support ....but this cannot be let go ...4 years separated REALLY. He is kidding himself. It is yet a further insight into how long this 'relationship' has been going on in my opinion - @#$%ing angry. I can only imagine what effect this latest attempt at alienating and dismissing you has had and I am more than angry and upset for you. 

All those things happening around you are certainly examples of his mask slipping - just need to wait now for it to be ripped off entirely ...and it seems that is well under way. I know I have said this before but Hon take him for all you can (for as long as you can deal with it all). You deserve to be well and truly 'compensated' for all the time, effort, support and 'life' you spent with him whilst he was obviously being both unfaithful and dishonest with everyone. What he has done to you - and your baby dragons - is neither acceptable in any way. shape or form. It is very clear that his control issues were for his own self-protection as well as the emotional abuse he has put you through. The a/h deserves all that he gets ...and more ...and you deserve the best possible life you can have away from him.

You know you have my total support, love and time whenever you need it - you are a shining light and deserve the world 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thank you @Zoe7 ..... I know you are well and truly in my corner, and I will be celebrating somewhere in the future when he does bring himself down, because I don't believe you can live the way he is and consequences not double back to find you ..... unfortunately I can't dial up the speed on that happening ..... it is going to take its own sweet time.  Meantime I need to not make what he is choosing to do with everyone's life the centre of my attention ..... so that means distracting myself with everything I can find to get on with that makes a difference to me.

Thank you so much for being part of my cheer squad here.  There are days and times when that makes a huge difference.

💖💐🌷