β27-09-2020 05:33 PM
β27-09-2020 05:33 PM
hello and tender hugs my @Faith-and-Hope
β27-09-2020 05:41 PM
β27-09-2020 05:41 PM
@Shaz51 β€οΈ
β28-09-2020 09:59 AM
β28-09-2020 09:59 AM
Repeating this here, because I think it's worth it .....
I suspect this "new" relationship is actually longer term, and that the financial information he is continuing to withhold will reveal a whole new cache of lies, which clearly he doesn't want revealed. I'd say that is one reason why his behaviour has become increasingly vindictive and punitive ..... he is under a squeeze, created for himself by himself, that is not yet obvious to everyone else ..... but it will be, even if that occurs beyond the scope of the legals. You can't hold lies in place indefinitely, because the truth is a more powerful force, a life force, whereas lies are unstable and transient shape-shifters.
And he will repeat the pattern in his new circumstances because he has learned nothing.
@Teej @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Determined @outlander @Smc @Former-Member .... anyone else around ....
β28-09-2020 10:12 AM
β28-09-2020 10:12 AM
β28-09-2020 10:28 AM
β28-09-2020 10:28 AM
The "avatar" was real to me at the time @Former-Member, and I am keeping those memories treasured as special, along with the amazing family life we experienced with that "avatar". Nobody can take that away from me, or our children, unless we allow it ...... but it has to occur with the full recognition that he was playing a role that suited him at the time, and now he is playing another one that he thinks suits him better.
There would be no need for all the lies, deceit, stalling, emotionally abysive communicatiobs, etc if he wasn't feeling threatened by our separation processes, which he wasn't until I took action ..... but without that action he wouldn't have let me go anyway ...... he would have kept me like a "pet" to the side of his new life and thrown me an occasional bone.
If he wasn't feeling insecure he would just cough up, and then ignore me the way he has cut off all the other relationships in his life that belonged with "our" life, which no longer work with his current "avatar".
β28-09-2020 10:51 AM
β28-09-2020 10:51 AM
I just wanted to add that this is a very different condition from the different changing of hats that we all do for the differing roles we naturally play in life (mother hat, teacher hat, wife hat, daughter hat, etc) and I believe in sub-personalities (IFS - Internal Family Systems), but NPD is something entirely different again. It's not so much diagnosed, but recognised by an unmistakable trail of destructive, manipulative, controlling and deceitful behaviour, issued in equally recognisable, marked cycles, once you know what it is you're seeing / experiencing. As with addictions, it sort of diagnoses itself by the effects on the key persons life and what they do to their relationships.
β28-09-2020 07:17 PM
β28-09-2020 07:17 PM
β03-10-2020 08:31 PM
β03-10-2020 08:31 PM
β03-10-2020 09:45 PM
β03-10-2020 09:45 PM
Thank you so much @outlander @Former-Member ππ
β03-10-2020 10:02 PM
β03-10-2020 10:02 PM
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