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It's only been a few months for you @Eve7 - that's not long at all - it can take a long time to get over the death of one of our children - years even - and for me the first year was the hardest - it's hard to tell you this
However people who don't know will expect you to "get over it" - that is so unhelpful - it takes its own time and is its own story. You can't hurry it and it won't go away. I didn't want to grieve but I had to - there is the challenge - and gradually I accepted it - and now respect my son's decision - it's over 38 years now and one helpful thing I can tell you is that it was the most important thing that happened to me in my long lifetime, and I learned a great deal. I wish the same for you.
Where indeed does a mother go with a broken heart? You need to have contact with other bereaved parents - there you will find people who are at their own stages of their grief work but do understand.
I joined The Compassionate Friends - that was in 1986 - they are still going strong - you can find them on-line - they have a website - they were very well organised when I was a member and a volunteer - I think on-line services are probably even better. They had a library and I read everything I could on the subject of child loss and grief - if nothing else - it passed the time - but I learned.
I don't know if you are in a city or a rural environment - TCF has chapters in the big cities I know - you can find out for yourself on-line if there is a chapter near you - if not - at least you can find these wonderful people on-line and I do pray you will find you way there - it was so great for me - it's been many years now since I was in contact with them. Of course, the time came when I did not need them
People may suggest you start a hobby or something like that - I would encourage you to find you own activities - whatever pleases you - I was studying part time at university and working part-time - I did go back to these - it was very hard though - because of the pain in my heart - we need something though and I know very little about your circumstances. Mostly that you have had a hard time
I care and I will try to keep in touch. I can assure you that this won't last forever and it's okay to enjoy yourself. It's okay to laugh, to take time to read what you enjoy - take a trip - stay home - have friends over or not - there are no rules - only
the need to let time pass
And I do know how hard it is to get up in the morning - how hard it is to pick up the threads of your life - even go through the motions. I get it - I hear you.
I am sending all the love I can
Owlunar
Office: Ground floor, 2 Terry Street
Glenorchy, Tasmania 7010
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Office: Ground floor, 2 Terry Street
Glenorchy, Tasmania 7010
Site © 2023 Mental Health Families & Friends.
Design by Finch Design. Built by Design ID
