Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Empathyguy]

Im in need of advice what my schitzoaffective gf may be thinking...

We were dating for 7 weeks. She didn't tell me about her illness.

We had been 'intimate' several times. Initiated by herself. Even the first kiss. On 7th feb she messages me this.."I am schitzoaffective bipolar and im going thru mania". She was due on 14th feb for her 3mth injection and it had worn off.

I told her i would support her, ( i knew NOTHING about the illness). We caught up quite a bit between 7th & 14th. We were intimate twice in that time. Again, Initiated by her. She came over Valentines day with card and gift. 😍Very sore from her injection.  It was a surprise to see her. Showed to me she made an effort. 2 days later on 16th she sends me a msg, "You took advantage of me, I never want to see you again". Hasnt responded to my messages or returned the necklace from 14th.

Im REALLY struggling to understand her 'state of mind'. I really value her, and even now ive read about her illness, am prepared to support her and be her rock.

ANY insight, advice, suggestions would be very helpful please as im struggling with the negative label/accusation. Was the whole 7 weeks before mania of 7 days a different her? Is it the mania to depression element? Do i keep reaching out. Just feeling lost as we had talked about moving in, kids, travelling.🌈  She been on meds for 20 years.

Thanks for reading 🙏

[tyme]

Hey @Empathyguy ,

It's hard to tell @Empathyguy , but I hear how hard it must be for you. 

I wonder if those 7 weeks were part of the mania where she maybe have acted impulsively in initiating intimacy, kissing etc ? It's hard to say. 

Depending on the cycling of episodes, each episode can last for weeks. 

Another way of seeing it is that she was okay during the 7 weeks, and is now going into a depressive episode?

As I said, it's hard to say after 7 weeks.

The main thing is that you look after yourself at this time. Do you have someone you can speak to?

[Empathyguy]

The intimacy was my sensitive description of making love.

Am utilising helplines to talk it out. I would like to think the 7 weeks were her in 'normal' state of mind. Also going to see Doc about referring me for mental health support because ive struggled with sleeping etc.

[tyme]

There is certainly a lot to process @Empathyguy . It is understandable you are feeling this way. It's certainly a good idea to speak to you doctor about what's been happening for you.

Alongside the support from your doctor, I wonder if you would be interested in SANE's Guided Service? You can read more about it here and see if you reside in an eligible PHN (postcode). https://www.sane.org/referral

We hope you find the support you need at this time.

[Empathyguy]

Thank you. Am hopeful other ppl with experiences supporting loved ones with this illness can share their opinions and experiences to provide some insight for me.