Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Warnout]

Hi newbie here. I stumble upon this site looking for help for my nephew. I am the only family member living in the same state as my nephew. His immediate family lives in another state. My nephew has serveral mental health conditions ptsd, adhd, mild autism ,ied depression and major anxiety. He is nearly 2yrs clean off drugs and has been doing pretty well the last 12mths. The new year has not been kind and after a few incidents over the last couple of weeks I am finding it extremely difficult. He has supports and a support co ordinater but no real mental health support. It is a real battle as he doesn’t think he needs them and he is doing well by himself but he isn’t. He has been consistently calling me again and I'm just so tired. I just want to be left alone for a while. I am starting to feel resentment towards him. I am not his mum and am struggling with the responsibility. I do not have children of my own. I have tried to talk to professionals and I just get nowhere. My mental health isn't the best due to this situation. I find my moods depend on his moods. I love him but I just want to be aunty I'm so look tired of the struggles with him. Sorry for the ramble 😢😢

[amber22]

Hey @Warnout 

Thank you so much for sharing how you're feeling, it can be really difficult navigating your own mental health and emotions while caring for someone else that you love and are worried about. I think you're being a really amazing aunty for being so supportive to your nephew, but like you mentioned, it is so natural for it to get draining after a while and you do need some space to separate yourself if it's starting to also affect your moods and your overall quality of life. 

I see he has some supports around him, but would he be interested in joining a community online where he can chat to others about how he's feeling (something like these forums?) 

It might also be helpful to communicate with him nicely how you're feeling and just let him know that you love and care for him and want to make sure that he's okay, but it also does take a toll on you, and you also need some time to take care of your own mental health. This might be helpful for your relationship, but I totally understand it can be daunting and confronting to speak to someone you love about how they are affecting you, so go at your own pace.

Please make sure you are looking after yourself and caring for you, 

I'm here to chat if you needed at all,

You're not alone in this!

Amber22

[Warnout]

Thank you for your advice. He is nearly back to baseline after an incident yesterday he is easier to talk to when he is baseline 😊❤️