Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Maze]

I'm sorry I don't understand what ethical boundaries you mean?

Lol I'm not into movies much and besides if I sat down all day and did nothing but watch movies I'd be the one going stir crazy. I also have a property to run and at the minute I'm trying to manage by myself. If I sat down for 3 weeks the animals would starve and the place would be in chaos. I dont have time to be ill and when I very occasionally am jobs still need to be done so I have to deal with it.

He won't go to any groups about MI or anything else. He used to be into lots of active sports. Ive offered to go with him but the answer is always a "mmm" and nothing eventuates.

[PeppiPatty]

@Maze
I think that your gutsy just for asking that question actually :0)

[PeppiPatty]

You can do this @Maze
Your gutsy
Strong
(Busy )
Sensitive
Compassionate

[Appleblossom]

By ethical I was referring to your thought he was not likely to become violent ... but so much depends on the actual situation and individual.

Was his breakdown sudden .. Was there a trigger .. has he been watching tv all day for weeks .. months .. which would sound likfe a slump into depression .. a crisis would usually be more active ... I think ... what do others think?

If you are working a property and he isnt pulling his weight and he used to, its probably not viable long term .. is he appreciating your effort at all?

Is he seeing health professionals? Are you in the loop?

[Maze]

No he wouldn't become violent as he's totally against that due to past history. He just slumps into virtual non-existence. Past relationship is what caused his breakdown 10 years ago. Lets just say he was the victim of dv and endured it because he didn't know what else to do as he had asked for help and was refused several times. Been watching tv for just over 3 weeks and yes it is a bad slump in his depression. He hasn't been this bad in about 4 years, although he has had a cold as well. Lol when he's bad I start to wonder if he even realises I'm there. When he has spoken to the doctor one of the things which upsets him is that he feels he's a burden on me and lets me down. No he's not seeing anyone. Psych signed him off and can't access services until he agrees to give up his 5 beers a day! Considering he used to drink 24 hrs a day I don't think 5 is much! I like to have a couple after work.

[Maze]

I keep telling myself that too! It's hard though when you feel like your talking to yourself half the time and your improvement suggestions go out the window. That's when I get frustrated.

[Appleblossom]

Yes I do the talking to my self routine a bit ... but apparently half the world does it so ... not

If you can see the enormous improvement in substance use ... is there no room for negotiation with psych services .... cant they scale it a bit to help ...

Remember man colds are sometimes 10 X worse than anything a woman catches.

spring weather is coming up and a lot of people are getting perkier ...

[Janna]

What is a mental health crisis?  is a very good question to ask and one which I've struggled with in the past.  I'm going to suggest that if YOU feel that your H needs intervention for whatever reason outside of normal hours, when access to his regular health care provider is not possible, then I would call the Acute Care Team and discuss it with them.  They will be able to do an over-the-phone assessment and advise you on what to do and at the very least steer you in the right direction if they themselves are unable to help. In my mind a mental health crisis does not necessarily only refer to situations in which safety is at risk but can also refer to an acute worsening of a persons condition which may require intervention via an urgent assessment and/or admission to hospital.  Inability to function adequately and care for onself (e.g. not eating, tending to personal hygiene, mental/physical shut down, etc), loss of the control of their emotions (crying uncontrollably, hysteria, etc) , act/think inappropriately or irrationally (e.g. delusions, psychosis, etc), sudden non-compliance with medication, as well as any behaviour which involves risk to the safety of themself or others. I would suggest discussing the criteria with the person who armed you with their number so that they can further elaborate and clarify when they believe a call is required.  If in any doubt whatsoever about the well-being of your H at a time when access to other support is limited please don't hesitate to call them.

Janna ❤️

[Maze]

Hi,
I finally called yesterday. They were very good and things have started moving this morning. They told me to take him to the doctors today, which I did, and demand that they put him on a mental health plan, review his medication and do a full health check. The mental health plan is underway and the other things are to be started in the NY. I won't hesitate to phone them again.

[Appleblossom]

Glad he is finally getting treatment and you get some support that you deserve.

Have you got anything planned for Christmas?