Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Neb]

Claire...I am so very pleased that I was able to assist in some little way.

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @Claired, that sounds very unusual for a Grow staff member to be givings lifts to a grower. Very unusual indeed. Grow supports its members through socials, in which there are usually at least 3 grow members agreeing to meet up for a coffee or a walk. There are many excellent readings available written by growers about how to be a part of a caring and sharing community. There are also readings on enabling vs disabling help. For a paid staff member to be giving money to a community member of grow is quite extraordinary. I suggest you take this concern to your Branch Program Coordinator. Or possibly your next staff meeting..and I would definitely chat to the fieldworker about some readings that the group could do as in Grow..Clear understanding makes strong friendships..
The Grow Commitment explains quite clearly about the Threefold Bond for Unity, and in Grow we encourage each other to be ordinary.. In that it is not ordinary to ring a fieldworker on a weekend to get a lift..it is very ordinary for group members to support each other by travelling together on a train, or catching a bus, maybe even shouting each other a coffee occasionally, but it is generally not for fieldworkers. The fieldworkers training manual and the general grow training manual are good resources too..

[Claired]

Hello Alessandra1992,

You know the program so well. In fact, last time I consulted with the program co-ordinator he pointed me towards the Threefold Bond for Unity. It's just ou've only got half the picture. The paid staff member involved is not a fieldworker (he's working in the Grow rehabilition house). Although Grow has well established boundaries within the groups, this situation developed in the rehab centre. It is part of my job to coordinate service through mental health teams and with other community support organisations. The people I work with are supported clinically as well as in the commuity.

Although people living in the house have been repeatedly directed towards the rules of living in a caring and sharing community and told to bring there problems to group (talk to rather than about you're problem person) they are all suited to the program. While they live at Grow they are encouraged to attend groups regularly (be regular at group) and they are asked to live according to the structure in the house, which includes program study. Some of them find all those rules and regulations difficult due to literacy problems or physical health issues. Others just aren't ready to live within the community yet.

I am working with that staff member on establishing some clear boundaries, and I think I will make one of your points about the Grow socials. I have just today been advising that staff member that the support they get from attending groups is healthier for them, than calling a staff member. Such help is certainly diabling, not enabling. The purpose of living at the rehab centre is to gain independent living skills, not develop dependent relationships! 

Claire

[Alessandra1992]

Hey @Claired, that makes so much sense now that I understand it is the Grow Community in NSW..and yes I think a reading on socials would be very helpful, there are some great readings on building a caring and sharing community, and it is most certainly true that the Grow program is not for everyone..Dependent help is certainly not a path to genuine participation in community..perhaps though, the small time your person has been in Grow will prove beneficial in the long run..
Attending group regularly is one of the main points in grow, because by taking a progress report or a problem everyone gets the opportunity to affirm someone's progress or be affirmed for their contribution in another person's recovery...as we say in grow "mental health can't be taught, it must be learned together" and that is through attending your grow group...
It is definitely a skill to learn how to redirect each other back to group, especially no doubt for a new staff member who may not have much exposure to grow's training manual or experienced in how grow groups operate..
There are I believe excellent branch literature readings on friendship and boundaries..but might be worth ringing National Office as they have some fantastic national readings, and perhaps something by Anne Waters (the purple book of readings)..
Wishing you the best in life, love and happiness ! And for all people everywhere.. Hugs..

[Claired]

I'm going to ask for some readings from the office. I have my own lavendar book (Anne Waters) - last week we read what If I don't get praised? Maybe this week friendship! All the best in Grow friendship, Claire