Day 12 sober relationship issues

[MG2879]

@Sugarshack @AlwaysMyself 

Theres something seriously wrong with me I completely and utterly fall apart when a relationship ends. I've literally been crying my eyes out most of the day after my boyfriend of 8 months left me 3 days ago. It's not normal I'm completely broken begging him to come home. This happened when my last relationship ended and my marriage ended. I've had a toxic relationship with my mum coming in and out of my life cutting emotion off from me it's the only thing I can think about why I get so codependent and attached. It hurts so much. Moneys also a factor, ive worked so hard an i live comfortably but i have no one to share it with. I'd give it all away if i could just find my forever person. 

[rav3n]

hey @MG2879 i'm so sorry to hear about the break up! the timing really sucks, and i imagine it's really tough dealing with the emotions from the breakup as well as the withdrawal. you're showing so much strength by pushing on and trying your best. it's okay to cry and feel your feelings - breakups can be painful, and holding those emotions in would only make it harder. i hope you feel a bit better after letting it out. 

please know that your worth is not defined by your relationships. you are worthy as you are, and i have faith that your forever person will find you soon. for now, the forums community is here for you - we might not be the forever person you wanted, but we'll still be here for you for as long as you need 💙

[Oaktree]

@MG2879 

Congratulations on being 12 days sober! You are doing amazing, keep it up.

Sorry to hear about the breakup. You will find your forever person when you least expect it. I would say to just work on yourself for a while. There is nothing more attractive than a person that is happy and comfortable with themselves. Learn to love yourself first. I feel like you are starting to do that. As @rav3n said there is nothing wrong with feeling your feelings. It might be scary, but it is healthy. Have a good cry, eat ice cream if you need to. 

[REDLINEZ750]

@MG2879  nothing wrong with you.

its healthy to cry 

im a male that has a r c f apparently and grew up boys dont cry.

so i released emotion around a wounded heart in destructive ways.

picking fights, drinking hard drugs but i didnt cry

now i cry and release to what song is written for me at that time.

well done for 12 days,remember part of your brains unhAppy your noy drinking and heres where it pipes up so tune into the other part that knows alcohol will only make it worse if you cant stop.

i leave you with the ladys now , your soulmates searching for you too

[AlwaysMyself]

@MG2879 Ooh Day 12 now! Woohoo! It should be Day 29 when I get back then, not Day 28! 😄 I'm so proud of you! (I hope you can be proud of yourself too)

I don't think that means there is "somethings wrong" with you. I think it just shows you are a human with a heart and desire for connection - completely natural and normal. 😊 And I do hope that in time you will find the right person to fulfil those needs. Unfortunately sometimes we start a relationship with someone we think does fulfil those needs, and then over time realise they're not the best match in some important areas - it hurts for sure; I'm currently going through this with my partner.

I totally agree with @Oaktree saying "There is nothing more attractive than a person that is happy and comfortable with themselves." I mean, as long as the person is not a selfish, sadistic and/or narcissist 🤣.  People who find who they truely are and let it shine and be comfortable in their own skins -- there is something nice and refreshing about it; and the freedom to be yourself with them too without being worried about how each other may react to your own quirks - but knowing that you'll both accept each other fully and actually appreciate the quirks. 😍 That's my thoughts at least.

[SchizOttie]

I was really bad with self-care, money and relationships!

Once I was on my own, I learned the hard way to not OVER-INDULGE when in came to friends, travelling, eating, drinking, movies...

Instead, I started looking at what I was not doing, and learned I had poor grooming habits, was a people pleaser, had learning problems, binged on online entertainment and was a big spender!

So, I started with self:

Gave myself SELF-LOVE, by restricting processed food and going on proper DIET!

Started EXERCISING by joining a GYM!

Took help of bank app to properly manage and SAVE FUNDS!

STOPPED desperately searching for LOVER/FRIEND and started INVESTING IN SELF by concentrating on MYSELF!

And after some time, I started ATTRACTING RIGHT KIND OF PEOPLE !!!

[Shaz51]

Congratulations on being 12 days sober! @MG2879 

Keep on keeping on my awesome friend 😍