Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Shaz51]

no intentions to help.-- yes @outlander, she lives 12 hours away

she is up here this week visiting her mum and dad ( my uncle who has been in hospital ) and my aunty who is 83

[outlander]

@Shaz51

[Former-Member]

I once read that when people judge it is more about them than us and is often a reflection of their own insecurities.

Working on our own self acceptance and self love helps build a shield against people who judge us.  We all have different facets, we are not selfish if we take care of our own needs, we are worthy of love.  We are not our worst mistake; because we err and hurt we can help others when they are hurting.  By acknowledging our weaknesses we can work on improving them but they do not define us.  

Showing compassion towards ourselves helps us to show compassion toward others.  By acknowledging too that the person who judged us has insecurities, is not their worst mistake, are allowed to take care of their own needs and are worthy of love, we become less judgmental toward them. 

[Shaz51]

very true @Former-Member

@PeppiPatty, @outlander, @greenpea, @Appleblossom

[greenpea]

@Former-Member beautifully put Darcy. I should have that tattoed on my arm where I can read it when I am feeling insecure and put upon. xxxx

[Appleblossom]

[greenpea]

@Appleblossom@PeppiPatty@Shaz51@Former-Member@outlander what if you have done things that the average person would think was outragously bad and unforgiveable? How can you get over that when they continue to persecute you, spread rumours about you ... what do you do?? I walk with my head held high and try not to let it get to me. I am very good at ignoring it but still it is draining when people get pleasure out of causing pain.

[Appleblossom]

I dont have many limits.  @greenpea

  I have known drug addicts and prostitutes and recently really gorgeous handsome young hedge fund managers.  My cousin was a drug pusher rescued by his dad (richer than no dad) and given a job in ... customs security ... lol ... a bad joke ... I dont like him one little bit, for his bullying in general, and way laying my brother.  Then the social front that his parents parade is astonishing, and apparently they were the worst gossips.

People are people and do all sorts of things.  Risk taking is a little adaptive in young adult years ... I beat myself up over all sorts of things, but after all is said and done. I never hurt anyone and always tried to prevent harm. I think those who take pleasure in giving pain are among the worst.

You know what you have done, but you dont know what they have done.  There is almost a social guilt bluffing game that goes on.  Who is going to spill the beans first ...

Then there are the reasons behind why we do the really crazy things .. there are usually reasons.

If they are genuinely nice and are not hiding terrible secrets, they usually dont want to cause pain ... in my experience??

I had almost given up on human beings, but there are a few good uns out there.

[greenpea]

@Appleblossom Thanks Appleblossom .You are right people do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons.  I know now why I did what I did and am getting therapy for it.  I read my tarot for this year and it was on point. First half of the year moving on from the past to a bright second half of the year. 

That is what I want and no one is going to hold this little pea back.

[Appleblossom]

WTG  @greenpea  

Its best not to be too naive, people do have all sorts of judgements and do they effect us.

Reputation has an impact, but gossips are often suspect ...

I have my own judgements, but mostly they are preferences. 

In one family, tatts and piercing is fine and in another it is not ..??

I love your effervescence.  Keep being you.