Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[BeenThere]

How we create our own luck and how to put mechanisms in place to turn the odds around.

[NikNik]

Welcome @BeenThere

What a HUGE question to start with - starting with the tough questions, I see!

Hmmmm, I have so many different views on this one.

I think 'luck' is a consequence of positive actions. I can't often control the outcome of something, but if I do everything in my power towards getting the outcome I want, then that's all I can do. So for example.... I really want a job, I will work really hard on my CV and apply for it, I will study the company, I will do some practice questions and prepare for the interview. All of that is in my control.

Variables, for example the other applicants, are out of my control. 

So I have partly made my own luck and partly not.

But I couldn't get the job if I didn't put the wheels in action and apply for it.

That's my thoughts anyways. It's getting late for me to think on such a deep level 🙂

I'd be interested to hear what others think?

BeenThere - may I ask what this is related to? Or is it just a philosophical questions you're pondering?

[III]

I have another view on this that may also help with people having a string of bad luck.
Our life is like a rollercoaster with many ups and downs, these things help make us the people we are today and help provide intuition and experience within ourselves to improve or become better that all we do.
One of the common responses I have stated to others who are going through a bad patch is would they prefer a life that is a steady line with nothing that is extra exciting or mundanely boring ever? Generally we live to experience the good and bad life springs upon us when we least expect it, its a bit like not really knowing the weather of the day or getting it wrong. Rainy days are just as beautiful to experience than a Spring morning, actually that reminds my of a marriage I went to once.

I was invited to a marriage ceremony on a picturesque mountain top. All of the days leading up to this couple's celebration were magnificent Spring days, and the wedding day itself was expected to be spectacular. Anyway, as luck would have it it rained! Since we were so high up the mountain ranges the rain was very thin and misty which gave a somewhat magical 'snowy look' to the event. Subsequently the final photos of the day could not have been more beautiful as the glittering misty rain fell upon the bride (and groom but no one cares about the groom much 😄 ). Those pictures could have been in a magazine they were literally perfect.

The point is that on the days we are down on our luck we are still alive and experiencing the magic of life and in my view you should look at these days with as much glory as any other day it may be more beautiful than you think.

[CherryBomb]

So well said @III! 

[quietscreams]

Hi.
Just browsing. Haven't been on for quite some time.
I agree that we are the masters of our universe and how we act or feel, can impact on our lives in a positive or negative manner. However, there are situations in life, through no negative thinking, or actions, or depression etc., that are awful, traumatic, difficult, alarming and the like, regardless of what we do. Some of us do have more than our share of awful situations or bad patches.
We can only control what we do. We cannot control anybody else, their actions, their thoughts, their health..... We cannot control bad things happening to our loved ones or of death around us.
There have been so many situations where I could have controlled what I did to make things easier for me and my hubby and children. I could have taken a different course. I would have been uncaring and selfish to do this. I was stuck. My choice was to abandon or help. I've been put in that position on a number of occasions. I've had many obligations put upon me, even by authorities who I reached out to for help. Time and time again, my choice was taken, through different scenarios in an ongoing manner.
An example of awfulness was the death of my younger brother from a heart attack at 48, then my father 6 months later because he couldn't cope. They were last year. My daughter has issues and the deaths made things worse.
There is nothing beautiful or to look at differently to any of those things, to see anything positive. It's a bad patch. It's not anything that can be controlled. There is nothing positive in it. Some of us have things like this in our lives. Sometimes these times last for years - I know, that's been my life.
What I do to help me, to try to have a positive life somehow, is to look for positives, somewhere, no matter how trivial. I also tell myself that this won't be forever. That life has its ups and downs and we will have our turn to be up again.
I decided years ago that I would live with optimism. (Many around me were not. It was my rebellion). I found that being an optimist has taken me beyond what I thought was possible. It has taken me out of the vicious circles that I grew up in. It has helped me to cope through bad times. It has pushed me to look for ways to cope. It has made me very determined to stay afloat. I refuse to fall. Even devastation won't beat me.
Crying helps. Talking to friends helps. Going back to nature helps. Doing what you have to do to cope and progress.
Acceptance is the hardest thing but to accept is freeing. I accept that my life has been hard. It is what it is. I'll grab the good bits where I can. I'll treat people gently and hope I'm treated the same. I'll look at the butterflies and everything nature has to offer and I'll be grateful that I'm still here, still optimistic, still progressing and able to accept, change to suit and grow.