Dissociation Tricks?

[Theodora]

Hi, I care for someone who dissociates and recently my ‘go-to’ of giving her an ice block to bring her out of it is not working well enough. 
In the beginning, if I could get her to take a bite, it would be over and done with, but now it’s a whole ice block and I feel like any time now it’s not going to work at all.

I need new tricks please- what other ways are there that you have bought people out of dissociation? 
thank you 💕

[Shaz51]

Hello @Theodora and welcome to the forum 

Letting you know that you are not alone 

I will tag a few members who may be able to have some tips 

@Former-Member , @Paperdaisy , @BlueBay , @Flax , @Judi9877 , @Appleblossom 

[Judi9877]

Hi @Theodora and welcome to the forums! I’m glad you’ve found the community and hope you enjoy your time on the forums.

Whilst I can’t give you any ideas as to what to do with the dissociation issue, I’m just so glad you’ve found the forums and hope someone in the community can be of assistance. I understand that dissociation can be difficult on both the person and people who witness the event. I hope things go well for you!

Take care!

Judi9877☺️💐

[Former-Member]

Morning @Theodora and welcome to the forums 😊

Thanks for the tag @Shaz51!

Happy to share a tip – have you tried the "notice 5 things" exercise aka The Five Senses exercise?

Grounding exercises, such as the one above, are great for bringing you back into your body gently when you're disassociating.

My other tip would be to go gently, often when we're disassociating it's a protective mechanism, so pulling someone back into their body and into the room can feel quite overwhelming if they're not quite ready. 

It's lovely to see someone show the care that you are for someone struggling with disassociation 💙

Rhye ☘️

[Paperdaisy]

Hi @Theodora This sounds like a challenging time for you. It mustn't be easy caring for someone experiencing this. I'm wondering what supports you have in place for yourself?

I don't have my own experience of this but I'm wondering if https://blueknot.org.au/ might have some tips for you, as they specialise in trauma. 

Paperdaisy 💝

[Theodora]

Thank you Rhye. So, my particular friend has said that she wants to be bought out of it because she doesn’t remember anything that happens during it and god knows what she’s going to do while it’s happening.. but you’re right- the ice block shocks her and she’s terrified and doesn’t know who I am or she is for a few minutes every time. I have to make sure she’s in a safe room before I give her an ice block.  She has come out of it once when I drove somewhere to pick her up. I was going to bring her home and help her here, but when she stepped up to get into the car , the spell broke and she ran off terrified.. I have always just thought, get this over and done with asap- what exactly does waiting till they are ready entail? She just talks silly and makes jokes and does stupid things while it’s happening usually, but it’s heartbreaking for me because she looks genuinely happy- but I know it’s not real and she won’t remember it, so I actually feel selfish leaving her in it. 
last night she wasn’t here when it happened, but called all excited late at night and I knew what was going on. It had been at least an hour and a half that she was with other people like that and she doesn’t know what she did. How long would it go on for if left to run it’s course? 
thanks so much 

[Theodora]

Thank you!! 5 years and I’ve never heard of that organisation, and certainly not from lack of talking to people. Thank you, it looks very helpful

[Paperdaisy]

You are very welcome 😊Our SANE support services may also have some useful tips. In terms of the person you are caring for and their personal experience, as everyone is different it might be best to speak with their doctor about the best ways to support them. I do however want to acknowledge how caring you are to reach out here and ask for help. They are lucky to have you in their life. 

All the best 😊

[Former-Member]

---

what exactly does waiting till they are ready entail? 

---

@Theodora I think it's just being patient and gentle, which it sounds like you're doing a great job of! The only thing I can suggest here is something you've probably done, because you're doing a superb job of supporting your friend, and that is to ask them what they feel helps and what they might need.

One time a friend made me a book. Inside it contained hand drawn illustrations of things we could do together to help me feel less depressed and overwhelmed. It was so great because when I wasn't able to think clearly I could just flip through and point out what I'd like to do in that moment to get me outside my head.

It's got me thinking that maybe you could both write a list of things you could do with your friend when they're disassociating so that they can simply point to a pre-approved activity. I think it's best to compile the list when they're not disassociating, and it might also be helpful for them to be part of that process so the healing begins from within and they can build that self-soothing muscle.

Hope this helps, @Theodora.

Rhye☘️