My Girl

[Krishna]

Those that know me know my story and my daughters struggles with schizophrenia and drug addiction these past 11 years. You also would know that we’re heading towards 5 years of not seeing her due to her choice to estrange herself from her family. I still receive phone calls when money is needed but that’s it. I’m struggling this week my forum friends. Her team inform me that her health has deteriorated both physical and mental. Her personal hygiene levels are near to non existent and a forensic clean is required in her home due to the squalor in which she is living. My heart is truly breaking. Such a wicked illness and addiction robbing me of my daughter. Still my presence there is being rejected. The only comfort I have is knowing that she does have a team looking out for her and keeping me informed, more than many with mental illness. My hope that over the years things would improve for her to a manageable level is starting to fade. Its taking its toll and I’m so tired of being sad and teary. Just needed to vent this. Thanks for reading ❤️🙏

[Ru-bee]

Hi @Krishna 

I can't imagine how hard it would be to see your daughter going through this and not be able to help. 

I'm glad that you've been able to share this here and express some of what you're going through, though I'm sure words could never quite do it justice. I hope that doing so has given you even a small sense of relief, and I want to offer my care and support.

[Krishna]

Thanks @Ru-bee  The forum has been a safe place for many years for me to express my feelings and what my girl and family have endured. I know there are many who can relate and I truly truly appreciate the care and support received 🙏

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Krishna 

I am sorry to hear that you and your family are carrying this difficulty. Hopefully after the clean, there may be some small relief and improvements again. Wishing you all some comfort and peace 🩵 

[SkySeeker22]

Hi @Krishna 

I'm sorry to hear you are struggling this week.  It is so understandable though given what your daughter is experiencing and the distance that she has put between you.  While you can't be directly in her life right now I'm glad that you get the updates from her care team about what is going on for her.

Also please remember its ok to be sad and teary about this.

It so good that you have the forums here to be able to reach out to others and vent when you need.  Are there any things that you might be able to do just for yourself that might make you feel a bit better in yourself right now?  When I get teary it always makes me feel a bit better if I take an extra long shower with a special calming soap I have on standby for these times... do you have/do anything like that for yourself?

I hope things improve for your daughter 💙

Warm regards

SkySeeker22

[greenpea]

@Krishna  sweetheart i feel so sad for you as i read your words about your daughter. yes it is an awful disease and drug addiction is a blight on our society.  i am always here for you if ever you need a shoulder to cry on.  Here is a song for you https://youtu.be/k5YlsqhrSz8?si=Qsqw39-Wx8h8oO39

[Shaz51]

Ohhh hello and hugs my friend @Krishna 

sending you lots of hugs and sitting with you 😍

@Ru-bee , @8ppleTree , @SkySeeker22 , @greenpea 

[Krishna]

Thank you my darling old friends @Shaz51 @greenpea. You’ve been constants on this journey. I usually bounce back after a few days when I get updates about my girl but gosh this time has really rocked me. You’d think I’d be an old hand at handling bad news by now. Trying to busy myself this week, picked up something in the garden  way too heavy for this 60 yr old body and have now put my neck back and hips out of whack so feeling quite secondhand at present. I will come good and always am so grateful for your messages of love and support 🙏🌹❤️

[Shazz0211]

I feel your pain and your sadness, my son is also schizophrenia diagnosed in 2016 he is 39, and using meth. He is very aggressive towards me and blames me for everything, I have had to call the police a number of times and have him admitted to hospital.  The last time was early this year and I could not have him back in the house.

He is now on a court order to have his depo once a month and is always late going to clinic. He has now lost his job and has to move out of where he is living. 

I am now 61 and have my 90 year old mother living with me, I also have two adorable grandchildren that I cant have at my house in case he turns up.

You just want to take away their pain and help them any way you can, but as you get older it gets so much harder.

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Shazz0211 

Welcome to forums, thanks for sharing some of your story with us 🌸

It sounds like you're really doing your best to balance things for your family and their needs. It can be a juggling act sometimes, not easy. Sorry to hear that your son struggles with his mental health, too. 

@Krishna I hope you're recovering from the garden work? How is this week for you?