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29-12-2020 06:35 PM
29-12-2020 06:35 PM
Saying hello
I am new to this group. My son struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. He is 14 years old. I'm looking forward to providing and receiving support through this group. Thanks in advance! Kizzy
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29-12-2020 07:32 PM
29-12-2020 07:32 PM
Re: Saying hello
@Kizzy Hi Kizzy and welcome. You will find we are a friendly bunch. Have a look around the forums and when you are ready you might like to contribute to a thread or create your own. Again always great to see a new face. Take care. greenpea
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30-12-2020 08:10 AM
30-12-2020 08:10 AM
Re: Saying hello
@Kizzy Very sorry to hear your son is struggling and at such a young age. I hope you find some support here for the both of you
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30-12-2020 09:51 AM
30-12-2020 09:51 AM
Re: Saying hello
Welcome to the forum @Kizzy. You will find wonderful support here. Am sorry to read of your sons struggles and the heartache it brings to family as well. Wishes for a peaceful day.
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30-12-2020 11:49 AM
30-12-2020 11:49 AM
Re: Saying hello
That's really tough @Kizzy I imagine, like so many of us, he is having relationship problems with his (school) friends too? If not - my words will be inappropriate, but that seems to be at the core of so many of our problems. Finding our place and not letting others walk over us. Where to find common ground?
If that is so, however, my further advice would be to let your son know that 'they' don't matter - but he does. Try to get him to understand the value of his education and apply himself to that - rather than his so-called 'friends'. Self-improvement is so rewarding and builds new perceptions of our own self-worth. How I would have loved to have learned that lesson myself in my youth. Nothing builds confidence and self-reliance better than plodding away and improving our education level - whatever it is. Just plod on. Learning that we are capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for - there is nothing more important. And to never give up!
I wish you and your son well and send my best wishes.
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30-12-2020 03:17 PM
30-12-2020 03:17 PM
Re: Saying hello
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30-12-2020 03:17 PM
30-12-2020 03:17 PM
Re: Saying hello
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30-12-2020 03:21 PM
30-12-2020 03:21 PM
Re: Saying hello
@Historylover thanks for advice. My issue is that school is his trigger. He finds school work really hard so then doesn't do it. It is a viscous cycle we need to break. Kizzy
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03-01-2021 06:08 PM
03-01-2021 06:08 PM
Re: Saying hello
Hi Kizzy
I'm relatively new to the forum too. Finding it very helpful personally around my diagnosis 4 years ago of bipolar affective disorder and the stigma and shame that followed.
I hear you about your concern for your son.
My friend's son was maybe 16 and he'd he'd started cutting, which really freaked my friend out. She didn't know what to do or say. He was struggling with his gayness.
They happened to watch a film on the telly called, I think, the Secretary, which told the story of a young woman from a very traumatic home life and she was cutting too. She eventually left the home and met a guy that also had his issues and their strangeness was a bond and they found their own way to a sense of belongingness.
Her son stopped cutting after that.
Viva la difference!
Your care and concern is a strength for your aon.
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04-01-2021 02:12 PM
04-01-2021 02:12 PM
Re: Saying hello
@Kizzy I know how that feels - having difficulty with school work. I had the same problems myself at high school. I thought I was unable to do the work but it was the teachers who simply weren't explaining it properly. Questions I asked were answered - but the 'explanations' were pretensions at explanations and left me further confused - and further convinced of my inability to do the work. I stopped asking questions, became dispirited and miserable and dropped behind.
Some students understood it so I assumed it was me - but it wasn't. Some teachers 'speak' to us while others simply aren't on our 'channel', and what they are saying simply doesn't connect.
The psychiatrist who much later in my life treated and cured my Depression showed me that I was so much more capable than I gave myself credit for. And I took to education avidly and have never stopped since.
Initially I used the library's books to study from - carefully choosing those which 'spoke' to me - especially 'question-and-answer-with explanation' type books The library was a new experience. Growing up, I hated books and reading but I would sit and take each subject I was studying very slowly.
Today, as an adult, I use both books and the internet - especially youtube which has a feast of information available to study from, and, again, I carefully choose the author/teacher/lecturer who is 'on my channel'. Some are excellent while others are a complete loss to me. I simply can't get enough of education. The exhiliaration of finding that I am able to do work I would never have thought possible is heightenied by the excitement of the new things I am learning.
I wish your son the very best. I hope he is 'on my channel'.