Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[NatureLover]

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@Shaz51 wrote:

after a few days mr shaz was allowed out for 4 hours during the day , which was nice as we walked on the esplanda, had lunch and coffee together , walked in the park and watched tv in my accomadation room 

We both enjoyed that time of just relaxing , it was really nice 

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This is good to hear @Shaz51  🙂

[Shaz51]

yes it was nice @NatureLover 

but there was one problem @nashy 

no income , 70 kms away , no car and spending our savings with staying there 

Mr shaz started to worry about everything, home, work , money etc 

[NatureLover]

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@Shaz51 wrote:

but there was one problem @nashy 

no income , 70 kms away , no car and spending our savings with staying there 

Mr shaz started to worry about everything, home, work , money etc 

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That wouldn't have helped his condition... What did you both decide to do about work? @Shaz51 

[Shaz51]

we are self employed @NatureLover 

so our customers were very understanding during that time 

[NatureLover]

I'm so pleased to hear that 🙂  @Shaz51 

But it would have added to all your worries at that time. So much uncertainty.

[Former-Member]

Such a lot happened when my husband was acute, the different attempts, him running away, he was psychotic and I had no idea what was happening. A lot of it has melded in my memory.

As carers we do need help.

What to say, what not to say, how to encourage holistic wellness, not only psychiatric treatment compliance but in all aspects of life such as the ones  @Shaz51 mentioned - environmental, financial and occupational  let alone the emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social and physical dimensions, without input in these area our loved ones are less likely the thrive and mental health issues or not, we all do better with gentle encouragement and knowing that someone has our backs. When it comes to looking out for our loved ones there is the balance on how to support their psych treatment plan and encourage automy with a level of shared care so that we know enough so as to advocate for them should the need arise.  

There is a lot to take in and learn while our hearts are breaking; a time of crisis is not the best classroom.  For most of us the learning process takes time. 

Our own response too is independent to that of our loved ones. They may or may not be amenable to treatment options, they may for a time be put on a treatment order which brings with it other concerns, increased self-loathing can and does occur, but all we see is their worth.

In the event that they do accept help we see our loved ones continue to struggle often through numerous medication trials, the thought of relapse ever present in our minds. We long to be able to hold them and tell them that everything will be alright, but that is not how life works. We grieve, we learn to face our new reality of 'before' and 'after'.

Somewhere in all of this, if we are fortunate, and I was, we find that in it all that has happened,  we can find things that give meaning to these life experiences; we can use our pain to help others. We can grow in ourselves and become more compassionate, especially towards those who struggle with their mental health and those who care for them.

[NatureLover]

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@Former-Member wrote:

What to say, what not to say, how to encourage holistic wellness, not only psychiatric treatment compliance but in all aspects of life such as the ones  @Shaz51 mentioned - environmental, financial and occupational  let alone the emotional, spiritual, intellectual, social and physical dimensions, without input in these area our loved ones are less likely the thrive and mental health issues or not, we all do better with gentle encouragement and knowing that someone has our backs. 

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So true, @Former-Member . It sounds like you've had an awful lot to cope with and learn under pressure. 

I find it's definitely easy, in a caring role, to be afraid of saying the wrong thing. Obviously it's important to let that person know you care for them; it's also important for the suicidal person to accept the need to get professional help, if possible.

[nashy]

@Former-Member  "Our own response too is independent to that of our loved ones. They may or may not be amenable to treatment options, they may for a time be put on a treatment order which brings with it other concerns, increased self-loathing can and does occur, but all we see is their worth." This is very important and real, it sounds like you have some direct experience as to how different parts of the system can impact your loved ones wellbeing. Sometimes, I can imagine you'd love the person you care about to be able to see themselves through your own eyes as well. Thank you for sharing this @Former-Member 

@NatureLover Very true, it's very important the person affected does lean on supports and engage in help to some degree. Thank you for sharing 

[nashy]

Hey there wonderful forum members! We are up to day two of our You Are Not Alone event thread For those reading along 🙂 @NatureLover @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Maggie @Former-Member 

It can be overwhelming to know the person you care about is coming home after they’ve attempted suicide. How is their mental health now? What support will they need? What will happen next? This can even be the case with loved ones who aren’t suicidal, but perhaps there’s a change in medication or treatment plans.

What are some things that would help you navigating sudden changes in caring for your loved one?

[Maggie]

@nashy @NatureLover @Former-Member @Shaz51 @Former-Member 

I’m hoping to start a support group for MI at church. It’s been a long and painful journey finding my way back, as stigma is high, as is misunderstandings and fear. I’ve felt the need for some time, based on my past experiences. Everyone walked away. I’m finding the information here, and the conversations very helpful, as there’s so much to learn, even though we have your own personal journey to learn from, and live with. I’ve read a few books, based in America, but things are happening, fear is losing its grip, even though it’s a slow process. Slow is still moving. Thanks everyone. 💞