Skip to main content Skip to main content

I’m looking for…

Home » Forums
Circle drop down menus with words I'm a support person interested in with a watering can and water drops graphic to the right of it
Circle drop down menus with words I'm a health professional interested in with a trellis and plant illustration to the right of it
Circle drop down menus with words I want to register for an event and two plant pots to the right of it
Forums Home
Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Something’s not right

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

Beautiful @outlander ... thank you. 😊

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer diagnosis

@Former-Member 

How is your Dad going? Is he in care now?

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

Hi @Former-Member 

 

My Dad has not been well this past month or so.  Had a really bad infection in his toe.  They were talking about amputation, but thankfully it is finally starting to respond to increased and additional antibiotics.  He spent a week in respite last week because his already very poor mobility was being adversely affected by  the infection ravaging his body.  After about 5 weeks of ABs it sounds as though the infection is finally improving.  I am doing the long drive there tomorrow to spend 5 days there for our pre-christmas family get together.  Plus its dad's 87th birthday this Thursday, and I will be there for that.

 

So although Dad is not in full time care yet, he does have a nurse visit him at home every morning to dress his wound, check on him, etc.  Plus he has meals delivered 7 days per week.  And once a week he has someone come in to help him with showers, bed changes, washing and cleaning.  So far that seems to be working fairly well.  But he has now had 2 seperate weeks in respite at an aged care facility where he would likely go permanent when the time comes, and he seems reasonably comfortable with that.  He is accepting of the likelihood that there will come a time he needs more care than he can receive at home.  So its been a gradual process, but one he is amenable to.

 

Hubby has been very unwell again, but there again, his health issues fluctuate greatly.  So nothing really new there.  He wants to come with me for the family visit this time, because he has friends near there who he wants to catch up with. He had tests at a diagnostic place yesterday for another possible problem which his oncologist discovered on Tuesday when we were there for his 3-monthly checkup.  No results yet, but it would be nice if it uncovered the cause of one of his more recent symptoms.  If it is what the oncologist suspects, it will likely mean another specialist added to the already heady mix.

 

How are you going @Former-Member  and also Mr Darcy?  I expect you would be fully settled into your new location by now.  How long has it been since your move?  Seems like ages, but I guess it isnt. 

 

Thanks also for others posting here from time to time, and my apologies for not always responding promptly. I always appreciate your input however.  @outlander @Shaz51 @Peri 

 

@Corny  How nice to see you here, and thank you so much for your caring and thoughtful post a few weeks ago. Yes its true that Parkinsons is not a nice disease at all.  It is a progressive degenerative neurological disease, which can only ever get worse. No cure, so little wonder it is almost always accompanied by a high level of depression and anxiety.  I'm glad you do not have health anxiety ... nor incidentally do I.  But I have read about PTSD increasing the risk of Parkinsons, so its possible there may be a link there.  Not something to look forward to, but there again nor is it something that worrying about will help with.  Hubby does have PTSD as well, but he also has Melanoma, and there is a very strong link between Melanoma and Parkinsons. Seems odd, but there you go. You are right of course ... hubby has been through a lot in his life, and more so these past 10 years or so, with one diagnosis after another. And it is hard trying to manage all diagnoses, because several of them interlink. Plus he has never been the easiest person to live with, made much worse by his alcoholism.  Thats been going into freefall lately with a further decline in his physical health.  So how has your fitness and exercise been going since your post in early November?  You asked how I've been lately .. not so good the past month or so, and it seems I may be falling deeper into a black hole now.  PTSD really is the pits, fluctuating between anxiety in its extreme form and then switching to a depressive low. Its about 4 and a half months since my Mum died now, so its more than that.  There's a lot happening, and some of it I am unable to speak about here.

 

Okay must go ... thanks everyone for keeping in touch.

 

Sherry 💕

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

ohhh hugs my @Former-Member HeartHeart

safe travels for tomorrow xx

I have been been awake since 1am with gallbladder pains -- arrgggg

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

Thank you @Shaz51 .. I just spoke to my Dad on the telephone.  He's looking forward to my visit.  💜

Yes safe travels indeed.  I really dislike driving long distances, and would prefer not to have to.  But little choice this time.

I will at least have hubby in the car with me this time, but he's unlikely to be doing any of the driving. 

Oh dear me, that does not sound good Shaz.  I read on your thread that you will be seeing a Dr about your gallbladder pains. I hope its soon.  It sounds painful, and from what I have read, it IS painful.  I'm sure they can do something about it, so sooner you get it looked at, the better.

 

Sherry xx

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

@Former-Member 

Take care, trust trip goes OK.

Further diagnosis =😵

Been in house 4 months now = old news

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

Thanks @Former-Member . Yeah I guess 4 months in, is indeed old news. I think your move was all around the time my mum was really sick, and I was away a bit with spending time wirh mum, then her death, funeral and then trying to settle dad into a routine on his own. So my recollection of your move is scant at best. I missed all that action. 😀

 

Sherry

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

@Former-Member you had a lot happening (and still do) and thankfully there was no action that made the move memorable for the wrong reason  - all went quite smoothly.

 

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

Hi @Former-Member I am not surprised that your depression is flaring again, it can be an either/or situation and there are some cruel ironies. When my depression increases my sleep improves and I am relieved to have a break from the extreme anxiety and jumpiness, but depression is awful too and all mental illness takes a lot of stamina to cope with.

 

You have so much on at the moment and a long journey ahead for you when it comes to caring for your husband and Dad, it just saddens me that a lot of it comes at the expense of your own health. 

 

Parkinson's is a really awful disease, my grandmother was barely 50 when she developed it, and I am not surprised that a skin disease is linked to other physical manifestations of illness at a basic biological level, you can tell a lot from someone's skin, and your husband's alcoholism would be obvious to doctors that know what to look for merely by observing his skin.

 

I haven't read this thread from beginning to end but do you mind me asking if the doctors have given your husband a prognosis? 

 

I really feel for you Sherry, I have been in that overloaded place as a carer while my own mental state is descending rapidly and just bewildered as to how on earth I will move forward and find the energy to do so.

 

I have been trapped as a carer for someone that has caused me suffering beyond words so I understand that complexity and the hopelessness you can feel. You have to really be careful and keep an eye on your depression because we are all breakable.

 

You will be crawling on your knees at times and it can be a very lonely journey, but know that there are others like me that have lived it. I haven't come through the other side completely in tact, I am back in the honeymoon suite for some treatment, but I am still here and doing my best with the cards that life has dealt me. 

 

Safe travels on the roads, you're an amazing women Sherry even though you don't feel it.

 

Corny Heart

Re: Supporting an already Depressed Partner through Cancer and Parkinson Disease diagnoses

Dear @Former-Member 

 it was good. To get an update from you, even though life still is tough and you don’t feel great.  I have missed you here.

you must take care of yourself.  I am glad you are going to see your dad and spend some time.  It must also be a relief that he has come to terms with care options.  

I hope that your husband doesn’t make the trip too hard for you and I am sorry that his health is continuing to deteriorate.  You are carrying so much.

four and a half months, is not long, so the effects of your mothers I’ll health and death are still close to the surface. I am not surprised that you are not feeling great. 

But there are lots of people here who value you and wish you well.  I know it is not like people who are around but it is support. 

I will be thinking of you and wishing you well in my heart.

peri

Illustration of people sitting and standing

New here?

Chat with other people who 'Get it'

with health professionals in the background to make sure everything is safe and supportive.

Register

Have an account?
Login

For urgent assistance