Lived Experience Forum

[Bow]

Sure @tyme  I’d love to share what I’ve learnt so far. 

[Bow]

So easily triggered around here
Not good when head is already bad

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Bow I'm here if you want to talk about this, or if you want to talk about something completely different to take your mind off of thing. Either way, I'm here

[Bow]

Just badly triggered by someone else’s posts today @Ru-bee im already feeling really on edge and vulnerable dealing with my own stuff in my head. 
I know I can just not read… but too late when I’ve already done it

[Ru-bee]

I'm sorry to hear that @Bow it can be a difficult space to navigate at times and things can get a bit intense

Do you think just hanging out in the social spaces for a bit would be helpful? Or even giving yourself a breather if you need it? 

If you feel a post doesn't fit within the forums guidelines please feel free to send it our way to look over

[Bow]

It doesn’t matter anymore @Ru-bee  harms already been done and it’s been there for hours. 

[Ru-bee]

It matters if it's affected you @Bow 

Is there something we can do to support you in this, or perhaps is there something that you do that generally helps when you feel triggered?

[Bow]

It’s really distressing to read that someone has just made an attempt, especially when your own SI is extremely high @Ru-bee 

[Bow]

TW- SA

Around this time of the year every year my whole world falls apart all over again. I don’t wanna remember. I don’t wanna feel. I don’t wanna think about it. But my mind and my body doesn’t give me a choice. It forces me to remember. It forces me to feel it all over again. And it makes me think about that day, about that week that followed.

It should have been a happy time. My little brother was born. But his birthday every year is not a time of celebration for me- which makes me feel like a horrible sister. It’s a time where I am made to remember how totally evil my step dad was. No one knew until that day what he was capable of. There were no signs. Fuvk, I hate saying it but he was a great step dad. Until this day. Until this week. Then everything change. And it was never the same again. I’d never be able to look him in the face again. I’d never be able to feel safe again around him. He was pure evil.

That day. That week that followed while mum was in hospital with my premmie brother, he SA me. He destroyed me. Broke me.

Then mum came home and everything went back to normal. Or as normal as it could. He never said anything. I never said anything. But that little girl was never the same again.

It’s my brothers birthday on Wednesday. I struggle every year to acknowledge and celebrate his birth when it represents something completely different to me. Something so painful.

I missed my psychologist appointment yesterday, and I now have to wait another fortnight.

im feeling heaps vulnerable and on edge and my SH and SI is on the increase 😩

[Ru-bee]

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience @Bow 

It's understandable that with this date coming up you'd be struggling with these thoughts. Do you have any other supports that you can reach out to to help you through this week? Would it be possible to have an emergency appointment with your psychologist?