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Reggiethecat
Senior Contributor

Can't shake the guilty feeling...

So,

My husband is is hospital under an inpatient temporary treatment order. For at least a few days.

He has been displaying manic symptoms for a few months. Undiagnosed as yet. 

I won't go into all of them but most notably not sleeping, grandiose thinking and completely out of proportion rage at me. He told me at least 3 times to stay away from him, not speak to him etc as he's scared he'd smash things and hurt me.

After the 3rd time having that screamed at me I believed him and left for my safety. I called mental health triage nurse and long story short, he's in hospital.

I feel incredible guilt that I've ' done this to him' my head knows thats not true but my heart.....

What I really need right now is validation and reassurance. Reading all of your posts I know that you know what I'm going through. I'm so sad

13 REPLIES 13

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

Ohhh @Reggiethecat 

Sending you lots of understanding hugs my friend ❤️ 

It is soo easy to feel guilty , because I felt guilty when it happened to me when my husband did the same driving himself to the hospital 

I am soo proud of your husband that he knew he needed help , and he loves you 

Hope the hospital stag can help him and maybe adjust or add medication to stablize him 

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

thank you so much @Shaz51 .

Unfortunately, he is still really angry at me but at the same time reaching out and wants to see me.

It's all so confusing. A head f$ck roller coaster.

His doctor said that when they determine its ok for him to see me it will be a supervised visit to ensure he doesn't start raging at me again. Because honestly, I'm still a little frightened of him right now xx 

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

Hi @Reggiethecat 

Reading your notes you did the right thing for you and your husband.

Your husband sounds like he knew he could not take things anymore. He knew what his anger was leading to. Smash things and hurt you.

You were wise to leave and call triage

You are both lucky he was admitted. This story is about both of you. He knows he is frustrated and you know he is a threat.

It sounds like he was reaching out and you were reluctant to believe it.

I am older. I went through a bad period and needed police often. My mother would call and when l was so stressed she just would not listen l could not talk. She did and does not know my situation because it wpuld upset her and besides, she could not help. Police and courts could not help.

The moral is my mum did not listen and pushed. I do not talk to her because she refused to step back

Your husband needed space. Hopefully he will  be assisted at the hospital and chat to a specialist.

You did the right thing because he should be assessed. When he comes home, see how things are. I suggest no blaming and hopefully his condition is diagnosed.

Tough.  But l support your action with triage.

You would feel more guilty if he was locked up and charged with asault

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

Thank you so much ♥️

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

Sorry @Reggiethecat , I must of misunderstood one part of your message 

I totally agree with @Former-Member 

When I finally got to the hospital ( I can't drive) the nurse was blaming me for what my husband was going through 

Glad my step daughter was with me 

How are you today xx 

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

🙏 I'm ok I guess. He emailed me last night saying he wanted to see me but isn't sure how to organise etc... I've loving just told him to speak to his doctor. I go back to work tomorrow so today I'm just trying to relax. Thanks for reaching out xx

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

@Reggiethecat @Shaz51 

 

Relax. Regenerate. Do not overthink.

I agree with you

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

🙏🙏♥️

Re: Can't shake the guilty feeling...

@Shaz51 @I'm really not ok
The last messages I received from him (Wednesday midnight) we're telling me that his whole family hates me for doing this to him, he hates me etc etc.... He's only on day 3 of antipsychotics and while I know in my brain that it's too soon for there to be any improvement I guess I was hoping for even a glimmer....
I feel lost, alone and all I tried to do was get him help. This is his 1st hospitalization and with it being involuntary it's extra hard. As he has removed me as next of kin I'm in an information black hole. Apparently today he changed his next of kin from his mate to his brother. I'm waiting for the hospital social worker to call me. And I need to find rent money. I'm just lost

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