Bipolar. Anxiety. Depression. Eating Disorder.

[266]

Evening all and thanks for having me. 
This is a first for me

My daughter 25 in June, suffers from Bipolar, severe anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. She has also been sexually assaulted which makes the self hate even deeper. 

Diagnosed 5 years ago, a young dr told her a 20 year old, “we’ll try this drug because it’s the only one you won’t gain weight with” Well then she didn’t tell anyone anything as she was petrified of the alternatives. Years of her needing help. She was suicidal last year, and was hospitalised for 5 weeks. It was in that five weeks the eating disorder was diagnosed as well as her admitting to a nurse about the assault, and the nurse slipped when talking to us.
I had asked her many times about assault as she had three days stress leave when a high profile rape story hit the media. As a mum I knew then, but she would not admit it.
We live five hours away, and came to be with her staying for 3months last year. 
She won’t take the meds she needs as she has an eating disorder. Help is right there and she won’t touch it. If she does take then she’ll starve herself. One kilo to us is twenty to her. 

We are here again after reports of her not wanting to live, her bipolar and depressed state is as low as it’s ever been. 

She likes her psychiatrist, but as her family, we are extremely concerned. We don’t think she’s being honest with him and he seems to be doing nothing. She’s not talking to him and that’s the way she likes it.
It’s all private and we can’t ask any questions. I can’t say anything right. 

There seems to be little to no support for the support network and SANE is the first place I’ve stumbled over that has been on any decent help. 
We seem to be going in circles. She won’t take the meds because of self hatred and weight gain, but she seems to need them to address the self hate issues. Which comes first?

Her psychiatrist is not helping. 
We are staying in a motel as we have before, we know she’s not stable. I pray she’ll be alive in the morning,  every night. 
She had a plan last time she was admitted, so it’s still there looming.
I think she’s not being honest,  to keep out of hospital. We sit here, waiting for the inevitable. We can lead a horse to water…..

We just pray she’ll call Lifeline as she did before. 
Looking for any advice we can get and extremely grateful as her support network. 
In her world, she has not accepted it, she won’t accept it. She keeps sweeping it all under the mat so it will go away.
She won’t join forums, won’t seek out any more psychologists, and won’t talk. In her world it’s not ok to be not ok. She’s very unwell. 

She does not think talking helps, and she won’t talk. 
As a mum, I just don’t know what to do. We’re going around and around. Help is right there and she won’t touch it. 
I’m so worried  we haven’t hit the bottom yet, and she won’t turn this around until she does, if, she survives it. 

Advice appreciated 

[Former-Member]

Hi. I cannot see a name. Number one. You are not alone with the upsetting story. 2) you need to look after yourself. 3) daughter may need admitting to hospital if so close on the edge. It may be beyond you. I know whatever you say is wrong to her. So say little. Hard to see but let her chat when she wants. She may chat to the right person. I think SANE may have support. Lifeline is good for you to call to share. I haveca friend who had to have daughter admitted to hospital. Not easy to do for a few reasons.
As far as prayer goes, continue. Check Joyce Meyer on Mindfulness or battle of the mind.
I will keep you all in prayer too

[Former-Member]

Hi @266

I just messaged and now l see your name. I am also new to Sane and learning my way.

You need to look after yourself. You can change yourself and not your daughter. Find some peace. As you say you pray, surrender it to God with verses. Using the word im prayer is powerful.

[tyme]

I'm so so so sorry @266 , it sounds like intense trauma you daughter is currently experiencing. I'm sorry to read of all the events that have unfolded. 

Thank you for reaching out and being so honest with the community here. It takes a lot of strength to reach out at such a difficult time.

It is important you yourself feel a network of support around you so that you can be there for your daughter.

How is she this evening? 

Also, in terms of medication, weight gain eventually becomes lower on the priority list. Managing the pain, the hurt and depression will mean so much more than weight gain. I've experienced this. I was hesitant to be on medication due to weight gain, but eventually, I gave in. I wouldn't turn back at all. Yes, even now, not long after I take my meds, I crave food (junk food). However, I have worked with my psychologist to know this will happen, and therefore choose healthier food options as well as eat a sustaining meal beforehand so that I can differentiate hunger vs cravings.

A healthy lifestyle with medication is absolutely attainable.

In the meanwhile, have you ever access Carer Gateway or the 24/7 Carer's phone service ARFMI?

Please know you are not alone. We are here for you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @266 

Sending again with your name

Hi. I cannot see a name. Number one. You are not alone with the upsetting story. 2) you need to look after yourself. 3) daughter may need admitting to hospital if so close on the edge. It may be beyond you. I know whatever you say is wrong to her. So say little. Hard to see but let her chat when she wants. She may chat to the right person. I think SANE may have support. Lifeline is good for you to call to share. I haveca friend who had to have daughter admitted to hospital. Not easy to do for a few reasons.
As far as prayer goes, continue. Check Joyce Meyer on Mindfulness or battle of the mind.
I will keep you all in prayer too

[ShiningStar]

Hi @266 

I just wanted to reach out to welcome you to the forums - it’s great to have you here 💜

I’m so deeply sorry to hear about everything that’s been happening for you and your daughter and as I listened to this part of your story, I can’t even begin to imagine the heartache and agony of watching someone you love in so much pain and distress and feeling completely powerless to be able to help them 💜

In my experience, it can be incredibly challenging to find a starting point that feels safe enough to begin to process the trauma and work through the underlying issues associated with the mental health conditions that we’re struggling with 💜

Just from what you’ve described, it makes so much sense that you’re fearful for your daughter’s safety and as such, I just ever so gently wondered if you’ve ever been in contact with (or would consider) contacting the Acute Care Team?

Basically, Acute Care Teams offer comprehensive mental health triage, urgent advice, assessment, treatment and support in managing mental health concerns in the short term to people with a mental illness who are acutely unwell or in crisis.

These services are available 24 hours a day 7 days a week 💜

Depending on what state you’re living in, Acute Care Teams (as they’re called here in Queensland 😊) are known by different names. For example, in Victoria, I believe that the equivalent service is called The Acute Community Intervention Service.

I wasn’t too sure whereabouts in Australia you are and so I’ve just shared the following link with you (just in case you decide to reach out to them 😊) as it lists the contact details for the equivalent services in each state 💜

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/crisis-management#same

Absolutely! There are times when it can be incredibly difficult for family members to find the care and support that they so desperately need 💜

As such, I just wanted to take a moment to share a couple of resources with you, in the hope that some of these may be helpful 💜

The first resource that I wanted to share with you is an organisation called 1800RESPECT 💜

Basically, 1800RESPECT provides telephone and online counselling, information and support for people who have experienced domestic, family and sexual violence. They also provide support for family members and friends too 💜

As such, I’ve just provided the link to their website below - just in case you would like to explore this further:

https://www.1800respect.org.au/

If you would like to reach out to 1800RESPECT, you can contact them on:

1800 737 732. They provide support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week 💜

They also provide online chat if this is something that feels more comfortable for you 💜

The second resource that I thought may be helpful for you is an organisation called the Butterfly Foundation 💜

In addition to providing support, information, resources and referrals for people who are living with eating disorders and / or  body image concerns, the Butterfly Foundation also provides support via a national helpline 💜

Basically, the helpline is available to anyone in Australia concerned about eating disorders or body image issues, whether you need support for yourself or someone you care about. All our counsellors are qualified mental health professionals with a background in psychology, social work or counselling. They also have specialist training in eating disorders and body image 💜

Their telephone number is: 1800 33 46 73 and you can contact them 7 days a week from 8.00am until midnight AEST 💜

They also provide online chat too 😊

I’ve contacted the helpline on numerous occasions and in my experience, the counsellors have always been really compassionate and helpful.

As such, I’ve just provided the link to this particular section of their website below - just in case you would like to take a look:

https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/helpline/

Furthermore, the Butterfly Foundation also provide online support groups for people who are caring for a loved one who is living with an eating disorder and / or body image concerns 💜

As such, I just wondered if the opportunity to be able to connect with other people who may share similar experiences to your own could be something  that’s also helpful for you 💜

I’ve just provided the link to this particular section of their website below - just in case you would like to explore this further: 

https://butterfly.org.au/get-support/support-groups/

Also, just while I remember, one of the things that really helped me when I was new to the forums and still finding my way around, was that if you would like to chat with another forum member, or reply to one of their posts, place @ in front of their username just like I did at the start of my post to you i.e. @266 that way, they will receive a message that you have contacted them 😊

I really hope that this helps you a little bit and that I haven’t overwhelmed you with too much information 💜

In the meantime, please remember that we’re here if you need us and you’re always more than welcome to reach back to me if there’s anything else that I can do to support you 💜

Take kind and gentle care of yourself,

ShiningStar 💜

[tyme]

Hi @266 @Former-Member ,

How are you both going?

Hi @ShiningStar !

[ShiningStar]

Hi @tyme 

Thank you so much for the shout out - hello to you too 💜

I hope that you're well 😊 and having a wonderful weekend 😊

Take care,

ShiningStar 💜

[mattee]

• @266 hey im sorry for the heartache you going through i have rapid cycle bi polar it took me 20 years to get right i used to lie to my phychitrist to didnt take meds spin out of control i also have been scheduled to hospital i have put my loving parents through hell and back i had to adress sexual issues as well but i am taking meds and im ok talking really does help its hard but better out than in get rid of the anger and learn to love tourself we are all wortth it big love to your daughter and your family its a hard ride to be on☹️