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New to being a carer.

My partner was diagnosed 12 years ago. We have only been together 2 years so I met him after treatment had begun. Generally he gets on well with life but the last few months have been difficult. He lost his job after 4 years on a false accusation and has just got another job after many attempts, interviews and trials going wrong. I fear he will struggle to keep,this job and I don't know how to give him the confidence he can do it.

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Re: New to being a carer.

Hi @Chuckdog

A very warm welcome to Sane. Sorry to read that your partner lost his job due to wrongful accusations - being unemployed, especially under those circumstances does tend to trigger depression in most. So I can understand your partner's struggle for the last few months.

Its good news that your partner has another job. Well done on his part! If your partner was not put off for poor work performance, I can't see why he can't hold down this job? Why do you fear he will struggle - due to mental health issues?. Is he under the care of medical professionals whom are helping him to keep his illness under control? It really depends upon the suitability and stress levels of the work he has undertaken and how well controlled his mental illness is - if the work is what he is use to and he coped with that - he should be fine.

I think what would help him is to build up his confidence at this point. Even though you have your doubts and anxieties try and hide this from your partner and encourage him by saying he can do this, and by doing his very best is enough. Be proud of him for not giving up and finding another job. That takes drive - let him know you are proud of this achievements. He may just surprise you. Planting the seeds of doubt now would only feed his own anxieties and mental symptoms giving a bad start.... If he goes into this job with a positive attitude this will give him the best chance of success. 

Re: New to being a carer.

Hello @Chuckdog

Welcome to the forums, thank you kindly for your sharing a bit about your experiences with your partner and supporting them, it sounds like it has been quite a tough past 4 months with his change in employment and feeling a lack of confidence because of that on top of his mental health issues. It is good you are reaching out on the forums for some extra support for all of this.

There are some other members who have similar experiences with caring for their partners on the forums, you might like to read through: @dhr53 talks about their partner in a great thread called 'Change'

There is another great thread by @Wishdream called 'Feeling helpless' and also a great thread by @Telopea called Worn out

I look forward to getting to know you better,


Re: New to being a carer.

Hi @Chuckdog

How is everything going? Is your partner settling into his new job? And how are you?

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