Boundaries

[Hibiscus1]

Sigh … so boundaries have been crossed for weeks and weeks. We have tried multiple tools. So a friend has offered their shack on their property, BPD can stay…. We can have a week break. He’s flipped. We are abandoning him. He’s doing EVERYTHING (yelled) and we are doing nothing. Etc etc and so on and so forth. He came back inside after 3 hours. (9.c Outside). He’s wearing shorts and tshirt ‘If when he gets up tomorrow, we are gone. His death is on our head’ 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @Hibiscus1 I'm sorry to hear about this. It sounds like a stressful and very serious situation. I'm wondering how you are doing today and if you are safe? You deserve a break as it sounds like you are a putting up with a lot. 

Please reach out to crisis support or 000 if you are in danger. 

Let us know how you are doing? 

Please take care 🌸

[Hibiscus1]

Thank you 🙏🏼 for asking. We’re struggling. The manipulative behaviour continues. My husband feels my step son will do something dangerous if we leave him at the farm. So he’s coming with us We are currently travelling, so it’s simply not ideal to have someone with unstable BPD with us - he literally has no where else to go. I feel manipulated. It’s very upsetting. BPD has been able to say just enough trigger words to impact us both and not to leave him on the farm. We’ve decided to call the Acute mental health team - although we know they are under resourced. BPD verbally said he would end his life if we left him - so we figure that’s enough of a reason.

Time

[Paperdaisy]

I'm sorry to hear you feel manipulated @Hibiscus1 it sounds like a very tricky situation.

Probably very wise to call the acute mental health team. Wishing you all the best and please reach out to us here if you need emotional support. 

Take care 

[ExhaustedCarer]

I’m so sorry. Being forced between a rock and a hard place where both are really awful serious situations. It’s a horrid feeling and I so hope the acute MH team can assist and support with this. When I’m facing impossible decisions because of the people I care for, I remind myself that I can share this load/burden/problem with the professionals. Under-resourcing and all of those issues aside, this is exactly why these teams exist. We can’t do this without the professionals. Take care and stay strong ❤️ 

[tyme]

Hey @Hibiscus1 ,

I'm sorry how tough things are for you at the moment.

Have you sought any supports for yourself?

Spectrum personality disorder specialists, and Project Air run carer groups (free of charge). There are also other carer supports throughout Australia. Would you be interested?

I know from experience that caring for a person with BPD can be very exhausting. It is important you receive support too.

tyme

[Hibiscus1]

Hi and thanks. 

yes it’s very exhausting and having impact. 

I’ve tried for months to access family connections…..hopefully a course happening soon. 

we are both open to support - are you aware of any that are active? 

[tyme]

Hi @Hibiscus1 ,

Spectrum has their groups for families and carers as well as those diagnosed with BPD. You can look for these groups here:

https://www.eventbrite.com.au/o/spectrum-personality-disorder-service-for-victoria-12815647934

There is one for carers 31st Aug @ 9:30am in Melb - $10.

There are also online psychoeducation groups for those with BPD. These are free of cost.

Are you in South Australia? It will help me direct you to services in your state.

tyme

[Hibiscus1]

Hi 

Thank you for sharing that resource.  The carers session is closed, and in person in Victoria?

I took time this morning to search for some support services, and as yet can't find any. 

Project Air had great resources - but i couldn't see any support groups. 

We are living in North West Tasmania.