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Looking after ourselves

maddison
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

Good to hear from you @tonys . Thanks. Firstly - I am sad to think you are so poorly. I hope you recovering afap. Seriously sending you my best sparkles of magic recovery potions  Good grief. What am I going to do with you?

 

Secondly

I don't have anything to say 

Have not eaten all day 

Lost this thing I wanted 

It's here hiding 

Everything in dissaray 

Never been this organised B4 

Thanks for your support 

You are a good sort 

Not sure if I'll return 

Bigger fish to burn 

Smooth sailing for us

I'm making it up 

Soon I'll be free 

You & Me 

Must go and eat 

I am so sweet ❤️

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maddison
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

hello my friend @tonys I really was not going to heavily invest too much off my time to the screen. However, I was re reading your reply now & I think I wrote back in haste & nonchalant. Similarly/same as you - little people moving furniture.

 

Let me reply again now. 

 

I loved your story your wrote to holdinghope size 10 feet in size 9 buckets - I'm laying here with a dumb smile, as I relive it! You are so funny. Have I mentioned that?

 

Your letter had lots of compassion for me.  I'm sensing things are difficult for you right now. I appreciate so much, you going to the effort of reaching out to me. I was not expecting. It was a wonderful surprise. I know you gave that to me. You are kind. Huge heart. You didn't have to look out for me, when you are doing your best to look out for you. Maybe you wanted to. 

 

I'm not angry at you specifically. I'm angry at these scars. Let's not go there. Too sad. Too deep. I'm worried, maybe like me - you take blame for things that are simply not your fault. 

 

I see what u do. It's the best you can offer. I love you. You are happy. 

 

I see you really care about me. 

 

You don't owe me anything. No need to force any doors. You have your own light. You glow brighter than all the stars. Fact 

 

I mean I won't lie - I liked being in the Penthouse for a moment.... Now I'm seemingly on your 9 th floor. What's a girl to do?

 

No need to ink any future quills for me my friend. Unless, of course you have the desire to quill me. It's only that my life is about as hectic as 4 seasons in one day right now. I won't be here looking for you. I can't.

 

I will live in hope. I'm a fool in that way.

 

Actually I have a heap of show & tell. That was kind of cool as a kid hey. Wouldn't it be ace if that's how corporate business, lawyer type workers started their workday? Oh, I think maybe show & tell was 1 special  day a week? Well, it would be cool if those kind things we learned in primary school were carried thru. I'm rambling or oversharing, or ADHD. It's you. I can't help it.

 

Look, my number one want - is for you to be happy, get well, be healthy. Love you & your life. I have a 'bucket' load of supports around me. And if I need more - well..who knows💛

 

We are friends. 

 

Going to get ready for bed now. Probably gonna think about you. My call. So kinda bad luck if anyone disagrees.

 

You are divine. Get well soon. Stay happy. Love you lots x

 

 

 

 

maddison
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

@EternalFlower I appreciate you 

 

You backed me. And I respect  & grateful for your words wary of censorship.

 

You are my best female friend on here. I'm saying it i would love to know you in real life. We have chatted for a long time now. So, in my dream I have tonys as my boyfriend & you as my best girlfriend. I like a few - lots of others too. I think tyme is solid & loyal. Apple & I have some weird connection I can't describe.

 

Love you.

Re: 🌻

Hi @maddison,

Thank you for your post. Just for future reference we need to be mindful when mentioning other forum members when we are talking about how we feel about them. This is just to ensure that everyone feels comfortable being included in this type of discussion and being respectful of everyone's feelings. Not suggesting that this post has upset anyone but it is important that we are mindful in case it could.

I hope you understand.

FloatingFeather

Re: 🌻

Hi @maddison I do back you and your feelings are normal...I admire them

There are some peer workers I admire who always speak up against cencoeship

i think some of us, myself included, get so used to being ashamed that we don't speak up.

 

In speaking Ur truth u lead the way for others.

I was worried about you my friend and you are my friend too and I care about you. Xo

Re: 🌻

Hi @FloatingFeather

Idont mean to intrude but from my perspective Maddison was expressing gratitude for ppl here which is very warm and kind and part of interactions.

I hope people feel included as well and think most users here seem to get it. Thank you for writing anyway I know it is hard to moderate . I know these spaces carry conflicting interests. It is important that we can connect here as some of us have limited irl supports.
tonys
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

@maddison   Hello Maddison..     I  do hope you are trapped inside a giant coloured bubble of  butterfly's and snow flakes and for just a while you are invisible to the demands of the world..

 

I  never can predict your state of mind, but thats the magic of kites.   You can always take em out another day and set them free again.

 

Mate ,  I have said this before,   you can revisit something a dozen times and it will reflect the light,...... YOU GIVE IT....... in a different way every time.   Comes a time when you rake the wreckage for the embers that offer the warmest glow and build a new fire...    That could be the start of a new home in your mind.   A   new way of looking at the world.  . . . Its not easy for you I know.

Life is not fair at times     There are times I wonder If we only exist  as a result of the cumulative thoughts of those that know and love us,  being so powerful as to  sustain a constant hologram that sustains our human form...   Friends are our world .  They are everything.   

 

That may be why we have to take lots of time to deconstruct,  analyse,  and evaluate,  the words that those who care enough to share,  send to us.

 

And for people like you and me,  words can take on many abstract shapes.   I rely a lot on others deconstructing and  giving reality to the images I see.     Words on the edge of fantasy.

Its important when we are vulnerable to not let these slippery stones take us into the current.

 

Thats why I  took a spell....    were  the slippery stepping stones I laid for you,  taking  you  to a valley were its best  not to go...    

 

You are in a vulnerable faze of your life at the moment ...   Triggers ,   we spoke about them once.

Your are my friend ,  you know that...  and always will be .    The help you are getting is a chance in a life time if you use your time well.    Small steps for both of us mate...    Please  for me .   Don't  over think things,  and don't sweat the small stuff.     And most of all ,  don't  over estimate me.....    I have a very  ... s t r a n g e.   mind,      When seam  I am at a distance from you,  I'm sure there are folks here that will recognise ,  Its for you protection,  because I care for you my friend.

 

I do hope You understand,    Love and hugs      tonys   moon base 1

 

 

 

 

tonys
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

@EternalFlower   hello..   Was about to log out,  still had 2 cents in my pocket.   Its above my pay grade ,  but can I spend it here...?    I  liked that you support  conflicting interests...    Life would be a little ordinary if we all agreed all the time.

 

I like to take the side of a debate I don't agree with sometimes,  just so I can try and understand another view of the world.     Too  Often .......    i  loose the debate..!

 

A  moderator is a ,  no head gear,   high wire act,  in  a hail storm.     

 

We all self censor to a degree and  for the vulnerable we count on the protection of  moderators.   I   rely heavily on  trained people providing safe places in this free for all fast food,   fast talking world.  and  when my ball kicks up chalk,  how can we learn if some impartial person doesnt point out a better way .......

 

I Like free speech.   The line for me is when it becomes,     Personal,..  intimidating  or   abusive...!

We  all make mistakes  yes    ,     but  there are 2 types off noise.   Accidental,  you have to

mow your lawn,  express you view,

And then there is deliberate noise.....

 

I will try harder each day to be kinder............      and forgive my humour please'

 

Tonys    moon base one 

 

 

 

maddison
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

Tears of love in my eyes @EternalFlower @tonys 

 

 

maddison
Senior Contributor

Re: 🌻

@tonys @EternalFlower @Shaz51 I will update properly soon.

 

I am in temp housing. Your letters meant so much to me.

 

Two of my cats are being soldiers. 1 cat is hiding under the bed. She has been there for hours. She's severely traumatized.

 

What can I do to help her? Or do I wait for her to come out on her own?

 

xx

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