Lived Experience Forum

[greenpea]

I am seeing my pdoc for an hour's session on Wednesday (as long as covid-19 doesnt stuff things up of course ....). Should I get to see her I will tell her my darkest secret. When I did my animal cards deck and asked the question out came the panther with gleaming yellow eyes all dark and dangerous .... a card of my past not of my future.

I just have to open my mouth and speak those words I have kept down deep in my chest. So scared of the repurcussions and what could happen once I open my mouth ....

[BlueBay]

Good luck in your session on Wednesday @greenpea 

I understand your fear. I had a deep dark secret that came out after 40 years. 
thinking of you ❤️

[greenpea]

@BlueBay 

[Molliex]

I am so utterly sick of people shaming other people during the current crisis. You don't know why someone might be bulk buying - perhaps they live rurally and shop monthly, they might have a large family, or they might be helping out someone in isolation. Childcare centres are still open and parents generally have to pay regardless if their kids go or not, so don't you dare shame me for using a service I am paying for.

[CheerBear]

Being hit with moments of feeling the big-ness. Not being able to do so many of the things that keep the kids and I OK. Tired of trying to get creative. Stuck inside a house that is like a pressure cooker sometimes. The suffocating feeling of no escape, no time out and no alone time. Missing the closeness of a new person in my life. The huge sadness of not being able to spend precious time with an unwell person. The worry about people I care about. The 'what-ifs' and the nightmares and memories of feeling trapped and afraid. Feeling guilty because really, we have it so easy.

[Millieme]

Feeling so panicked. So much going on and even though I'm trying to focus only on the decisions that have to be made by lunchtime today and forget the rest, everything is so intertwined that its impossible. The pages of options (from ridiculous through to magic wand type of stuff) and the pros and cons for the more realistic options are just hurting. There's no 'good' options, and i dont know which of the options are the less 'bad' or the most manageable. And there are so many unknowns about everything, about what my work will even 'be'. My 'rights' as a worker and under work over feel unimportant compared to the frustration and growing resentment i feel from work (which is also understandable with the pressures they are under). Children and parenting are issues as well with every option and there are unknowns with that because of the pandemic. Where life was already too hard... now its just impossible. I've tried all my strategies to calm down, to focus and ground and as soon as i finish those strategies its all still here and im drowning.

[Former-Member]

Troubled about my marriage. It just feels so very sad. No closeness, lonely, communication is often painful, misunderstandings, no fun, no adventure, boring, full of grief, separateness, aloneness. Wish it was better. 

[Whitehawk]

Hi there @Former-Member 

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through a lot of sadness and grief at the moment. Good on you for reaching out on the forum for support, I really hope that your are able to keep yourself safe. If you need additional support please reach out to the help lines including the SANE Help Centre.

take care this evening

Whitehawk

[BlueBay]

Hi @Former-Member 

I'm sorry you're struggling. 
I do understand what you're saying. 
I've been married 34 years this year and mines a bit on the quiet side. Our communication is not great. The understanding of each other is terrible. Our intimacy is non existence. We don't do adventures either. 
I do feel for you. Tske care xx

[Former-Member]

Still troubled about my marriage. Feeling deep sadness and grief about it all. I cannot fix it and I am too tired of trying. Feels like it is an awful game or something. Well I don't want to play. Tired of the acting and not seeming real. Tired of feeling tired.

Even troubled that I am wasting this life I have. Everything seems pointless. Tired of all the struggling almost every day. No body seems real including myself.